This post might be pretty crappy. Public restrooms are a dynamic element to society. Certain universal rules apply once you enter that doorframe, yet many people either don’t care, don’t know them, or don’t know them well enough. Let’s talk about some of the things that drive us public restroom law-abiding citizens b a n a n a s. (yes, I did sing the Gwen Stefani song as I wrote that)
It’s natural to do a quick scan when you first enter the restroom. You of course hope no one else is in there. I hate to have to enter that awkward “hey, how’s it goin” exchange. I’m not going to ignore the person, that’s just rude. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for those over-pleasantry people. You know, those who actually give you a real response in passing. If I say “how’s it goin” as I’m passing, I don’t actually care how it’s going. Just give me the standard “good” and keep walking, lets keep it simple and quick for everyone, we’re all busy. It’s frustrating when the other person stops walking to talk to me when I’m actually trying to get somewhere. If I indeed wanted to talk to you at that specific time, I would have come over to you. The bathroom is not a place for a conversation! I want to get in and get out as quickly as possible, it’s not twenty questions time.
You’ve done your scan, and now you are going to do your business. It’s your business; I will not get into specifics of it. As you are attending to that business, you hear a clicking sound. You know you’ve heard that clicking sound before…yep, someone is texting. Really? Come on, don’t make it so obvious. Phones in the bathroom are a faux pas, and if you must bring them in, keep things quiet! Wish I had a chance to make that point to a coworker I saw who once walked into the stall while on the phone and continued his conversation…still in the stall!
Speaking of stalls, please, PLEASE leave the middle one open! If stall 1 is occupied, you use stall 3, not stall 2. You only use stall 2 if stall 3 is also occupied. That’s a rule. Definitely is written somewhere, and if you haven’t read it before, I’ll get the source for you, just keep checking back. ;) Even if 1 and 3 are occupied, you should strongly consider coming back in a few minutes.
Hand wash time. Those automatic faucets can be annoying. They don’t allow you to choose your water temperature, and often go off randomly. My hands haven’t moved, why did the water stop? Ever use those sinks where you have to keep pushing the little hot and cold nubs down every few seconds? Yeah, I’d like to meet the jerkoff that invented those. I’d also like to smack the designers of super short faucets. Why are my hands hitting the back of the sink? There is so much open area in the sink, yet I have to contort my hands and wrists to get water on them because the faucet is shooting a stream of water three-quarters of an inch from the porcelain.
Lastly, but certainly not least, drying time. Not sure what the big deal is about putting a bunch of paper towels on a table with a garbage pail next to it. We have automatic dryers that are strong enough to power Rhode Island that make that little dent in your skin because of the thrust. Those are cool and effective, but way too loud. I guess those can be good because they would prove that you washed your hands since everyone this side of the Mississippi can hear them. Speaking of proof, ever see someone walk out without washing his or her hands? Even if you aren’t going to use soap, pretend you are washing them, don’t just walk right out. Those people must absolutely hate the paper towel dispensers where you have to spin that little wheel on the side that always seems to not give adequate towels. Am I the only one who doesn’t touch the knob on the dispensers that require you to push down to make the paper towels come out? I use the side of my arm because it makes me feel that the germs somehow won’t get on me that way.
Can restaurants start putting garbage pails closer to the door? I want to dry my hands with a paper towel and use that towel to grab the door handle. I hate having to lean back and toss the towel in the garbage. I miss every once in a while and then I’m stuck in that dilemma. I achieved my goal of opening the door without touching the handle, I’m free to go, but I technically littered. That towel touched the ground and has more germs than before. If I go back and pick it up, I really should wash my hands again…but if no one saw it, who said it was me…right?
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